Ole Ole Ole!

More from the weirdly fermented brain of Celia Cordwangler. 1973

Celia Cordwangler Post 1974

More from the twisted mind of Celia Cordwngler circa. 1974

Early mail art from the 1970's.

Darts

Its' a funny old game - darts
Stunted arrows thrown from the ochre
Not a yellow but a part
Of wood nailed to the floor
In a pub they have it by the door
There's a definate art
To throwing a flighted missile
Being drunk might help
But be careful
Or you could end up spearing
Your foot when it bounces
Off the wire and you yelp
With pain

Unwanted Guests

An easy way to put off unwanted guests.

Extracting Grit

Life can be funny sometimes - I was just saying to Professor Green in the laboratory with the spanner, that it was unlikely to be a very busy day when the X-tomimeter imploded and a cloud of dangerous Murkle particles blew in all our faces and we had to take turns extracting the grit from sucker filberts with the Extractorator Pilse Cannon. The side effects soon wore off and despite the tentacles and the extra fins we suffered no immediate periferal damage.

Injuns!

Why them pesky varmints! They be on the warpath agin all crazy on fire water and cheap wusky! I knew there wus somethin' a brewin' when I sees Big Chief Hokum down at the old saloon playing them darned Chas 'n' Dave hits on the old joanna and shooting out the lights last night. Lookout they's firin' them arrows under the door!

Ali Basham's Eyeball

Ali Basham's Eyeball


Ali Basham's eyeball was a fine sight
Glowing by the fire in the bright moonlight
It was the fairest eye in town
One day pink and the next day brown

Ali Basham's eyeball did sparkle so
It twinkled in the mid day snow
It winked and blinked and jiggled around
One day it popped out with a horrible sound

Ali Bashum's eyeball was a fine fellow
Sitting on a cushion of blue and yellow
It oggled and boggled and looked at me
The fairest eyeball I ever did see!

Harry Tate

Tate made his debut at the Waxed Kipper Hall in 1895, and became well known for his impressions of performers such as Doris Flunge, Mildred Grills, and Stradley Pling. Success came with his comedy sketch, Grolloping, in which he played the part of half a pantomime horse trying to repair a broken bath chair. His other sketches included Down The Dipsy Doodle, Bollards and Tiddly-Winks. Several catch phrases he used became popular in Britain in the 1930s, including "Stripe me barber's pole", "How's your Onions" (used as an escape clause when he was unable to answer a question) and "I don't blabber", used sarcastically (as in "He's a wrong 'un – I don't blabber")[2] . He used his bristling moustache to express all kinds of emotion by turning it into a small boomerang.

Harry Tate died in 1940 as a result of injuries suffered when falling in a unsupervised mangle.

1001 Things To Do With A Bit OF A Chair

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