Ee by gum! It's a reet crime wave going on't street what with the whippet rustling and chip buttie flinging. The Phantom Hot Pot pilferer has never been caught either our chuck. Now the latest from Oswaldtwizzle Road - Ena managing to lasoo a sneak thief with her hair net - but he snipped through it with a sharp frozen haddock he had concealed about his person and made a getaway.
The Rovers was a gog with excitemant and yatter. Even Ena felt it hard to get a word in scrimmage ways. Our Ken told them to have a bit of 'ush. Wilma told them about the police and the sniffer dogs round the corner shop eyeing up the treacle toffee and bull's eyes. Joe Longbottom interjected that street was going to dogs and everyone laughed ecept Ena who remembers the time a corgi nibbled her fetlocks down t'Co-op.
Now the hand bag snatcher is abroad and in daylight as common as yer please too! The only description being a short swarthy chap with a goitre and a nasty rash on one of his necks.
