Halloween Story

'Tis was the night of the Olde Crab Dangling and the mad scientist Von SHlap crept dwon to his dark dank and dunk laborotory to have fifteen minutes to himself. He read the Ghoulish Times and smoked a herring. A candle blew out and bat flew up the chimney. An owl hooted in the spikey trees outside and the big door creaked as Igor came in with one of his terrible headaches. OoooooH mashter! he cried and wobbled horribly over to the biscuit tin for a maccaroon. Green stuff slid down the walls and plopped into the puddles of ooze beneath. Some bubbled nearby in the retort. Some retorted and dripped in a bubbling way. Some bubbled and dripped and retorted. It was so noisy!
Anyway, the upshot of it was the scientist had given the wrong headache tablets to Igor and his head swelled up to enormous proportions - twice as big as any big headed thing in the laborotory. So he was sent out round the village to collect sweets and if the villagers refused he banged his big head on the doors of their hovels until they fell down. The villagers soon got sick of this and formed themselves into an Action Committee and went up to the castle with torches and pitchforks etc. with a petition to hand into the Head Head Enlarger. Soon after it got very quiet and then.......

The Curse Of The Evil Pixie

Since finding the Evil Pixie we have been alarmed by how many things have gone wrong around here. Firstly the electric toaster decided to be very erratic and burn every other slice of toast. Turning the dial down a notch made it even more cranky and the toast came out striped and with odd plaid patterns all over it - one time the word "bilge" was burnt into one side. Secondly the video stopped working and chewed up some favourite tapes - Ken Dodd's Diddymen On Ice and Home Is Where The Kelp Is.
Yesterday I found a spider in my muesli.
Today I have a bad back from stooping too much. I feel like a geriatric. I have a hot poultice strapped to my back with an old garden hose attachment incase I topple over and need to be pulled up.
I think I will get rid of it tomorrow. It keeps looking at me.

Ducky Comes A Cropper

Il suo piccolo webbed i piedi è stato portato ad un frazzle ch'hanno filato in tondo come i whelks nell'acquerugiola tutto l'improvviso le rotelle hanno cominciato a ronzare il suo senso dell'orientamento erano unbecoming sopra la scogliera la portata del ciclo dell'anatra e che hanno atterrato tutti mangled in un mucchio di vecchie latte.